flowers

The Coming of Spring ~ Cherry Blossoms in Washington, DC

Last year, I spent the weekend in Virginia experiencing cherry blossoms. This has been something I’ve wanted to do for so long, and finally, the timing worked for me to go. I know I can experience this anywhere you will find cherry trees, but there’s nothing like the blooms in Spring as you walk along the Potomac. The day we went was perfect weather, with a high of 80 degrees. For most of the rest of the trip, it rained, but this day was perfect. This Cherry Blossom Festival draws a large crowd, and although public transit would have been excellent, it was not what we chose to do. There were so many people and lots of cameras. Families were taking photos with their children, friends were taking selfies, and it was the best day. Lots of smiles and a load of steps walked. I enjoyed this day with my childhood friend and her granddaughter, who had never seen the cherry blossoms. We walked along the Potomac and crossed to the Tidal Basin area across from the Washington Monument and Jefferson Memorial.

Just a few of the highlights of 2019

I often wonder what the highlights look like when you're a photographer. Is it the number of clients you had? or is it by how you've improved over the previous year? Maybe it is the number of followers you've acquired, and yet for some, it may be the amount of money you made. My highlights are the ones that make me smile on days when I’m unsure if there is a smile left in me. They are the highlights that bring back the sights, sounds, and smells of that moment.

We live in an age now, where everyone is a "photographer." Just one click gives you the ability to capture a moment. So this grouping of photos is my highlight reel. The images that helped me tell the story of 2019 for me. I captured a lot of babies and mommas. I saw families grow, and I saw young adults enter onto the pathway of adulthood. I enjoyed events and traveled hither and yon, but in all of that, I found a deep-rooted passion for telling the stories of life. I'm grateful for that and I hope you'll join me as I venture into 2020 with an ever-increasing passion and an ever-growing desire to communicate through photographs.

The several photos in this gallery I didn’t take but I am in them which is rare for those who are behind the camera. The last photo is the ever-present reminder that Evan is part of every highlight reel and that we miss him EVERY SINGLE DAY!

Happiest of New Year as we move into the next decade!

Venice...Queen of the Adriatic

Our cruise of the Adriatic began in the city known for it’s bridges, canals and masks. I think what endeared it to me was the way that family life and work co-exist here. It seemed to also be multi generational in this way too as parents worked in many of the shops their children played nearby as grandparents kept a watch full eye. This was our second visit to Venice and it was just as charming as I remembered. 

This visit we took the water taxi to the furthest part of the island (Venice is among 117 smaller islands) and walked along the promenade to find a lovely walking street. We had lunch and found a outdoor park with art pieces. We put in a lot of steps and enjoyed pizza and quaint window sills filled with flowers. Venice is a must see if you are ever in Italy.

Paris is always a good idea...our adventure began in the city I love!

When we arrived it was almost noon on Father’s Day. We made our way to the hotel and waited there til our room was ready. We had a beautiful snack and drinks then spashed some water on our faces and took off for a walk around the city. We only had one full day here before leaving for Venice but it was filled with lots of beautiful architecture, river views, and meals along the beautiful streets of Paris.

Sunflowers and what they're teaching me...

We are just a few weeks away from the start of Fall. It’s hard to imagine that when we have days that the temperature is close to 100 degrees but by the ticking of time the calendar inches closer to the date that signifies to us that cooler weather and falling leaves is around the corner. There is something that always tugs in me as we say so long to summer and welcome the coming of fall. I’m kinda a big fan of most of the seasons but fall and spring are usually my favorites. Spring as it brings the beauty of new birth after a winter of loss. Summer is filled with long days in the sun and warm evenings of smooth conversations. Fall brings with it the vibrant changes in nature and for me it was always a time to plan for significant milestones as it is my birthday season and the birth dates for my boys. 

Much of the joy and excitement of fall has changed for me since Evan’s death. There is almost this resistance/hesitance to slow down the movement of time. I can’t really explain it other than fall was always such a great season for me but I have sustain such a significant amount of loss during this season I want to stay parked in summer indefinitly. The reason being is maybe not so obvious to most but summer is easier. There are no time constraints. The days are longer the nights are shorter and the sunflowers are blooming. All of it doesn’t remind me that soon you will need to start walking towards fall. Because fall holds with its beauty a measure of pain. 

This year in my travels the process of this beauty for ashes was much more evident for me as I watched the transformation of my beloved sunflowers. If you follow me even a little you know I start my search for sunflowers in early May as they are just starting the growing season here locally. I try hard to extend my watch through the summer but this year I went out to some of the fields as they were dying. The significance of the dying process for sunflowers is just as important as the beauty they bring to us as we drive by the fields. It permitted me to be fully part of the loss of these flowers and to understand the great impact they have in their beauty and in their dying. 

Today, September 9th. 2018,  which is 22 months since Evan's death and is a few months shy of what would be his 28th birthday. Alex and I will celebrate our birthdays next month. The Earth will keep spinning. The trees will change and days will get shorter. But what I wonder does the significance of Evan’s life that was so vibrant when he was living continue in his dying?? Does the impact he made continue even though he isn’t here to have his voice heard? As I ponder those things I think of the beautiful sunflowers.  

https://www.davisenterprise.com/local-news/yolo-grows-sunflower-seeds-for-the-world/

Where have you been?!?!?!

It has been a while since I last blogged. I’m not sure why only that life has been a bit glum, and the words have disappeared. Perhaps the words came earlier in this journey because the desperateness I was feeling from the initial shock of Evan dying or maybe they just continued so that the Lord could guide me towards a path of healing. Perhaps I have no idea, and in my way, I want to find the answers. All I know is that my words had gone silent. 

So much can be said about this season. As a person trying to promote a business and also reaching out to those who are hurting I sometimes find myself in the unfortunate space of having envy. Now that can look like a lot of things when you break it down, but I mostly envy all that will not or all that is yet to be. Guess that’s why it’s called envy. There is no end to it and society is enslaved by it. We live in an age of being in people’s front room by merely scrolling through IG or FB and drenched in people’s opinion just by responding to a post or thread. The noise and chatter are overwhelming, and it leaves little room for pondering or true evaluation.

I think that what I need is understanding as the places that I land on and the threads I scroll through leave me empty, shattered and unloved. I want a connection with people, and I am connected, but many times it feels as though something is missing. Most of the time I feel the emptiness of Evan not being here. Not that he would be with me at every event or outing. It's just that I miss him. It probably doesn't help that my husband and son are on a backpacking adventure and are on week two of a 4-week journey.  

I sometimes think with all that is going on I've forgotten the sound of my voice. 

Recently I spent time in the mountains and found little time for reflections as the busyness kept me from thinking or pondering too deeply. It wasn't until I traveled back home and the hollow feeling of loss came over me and left me feeling overwhelmed and anxious…nauseous really. When I finally got home and uploaded the photos from my nature walk in Yosemite that I thought that somehow in the busyness the Lord brought comfort as is His way when it comes to my photography. Photography gives me space to feel the full impact of what is going on within my heart and mind for grief is a constant thing.  It doesn’t rest or take a break. Sometimes it's a quiet whisper other times a raging sea...It can go from a sweet memory to a full-on belly cry. But alas it is constant. 

Grief is hard. And as much as we try to avoid it, we can't. We are all grieving something or someone. So when I'm feeling consumed by it. Shunned by it. Avoided by it. I have to remember who I am and to whom I belong. That the Lord is near to the broken-hearted. That He holds my tears in a jar. That those that I love He sees and that He sees me. He comes close to me. He values me. He sees my worth, and my heart ache. It doesn't scare Him or frighten Him. He comes CLOSER! So much comfort.  

Bouquets to Art at the de Young Museum

On Thursday I went into the city with a friend to the de Young Museum. The exhibition was called Bouquets to Art and it runs for one week with the last being on Sunday the 18th of March. This year, it’s 34th, the opening Gala was on Monday the 12th with a special VIP tour of all of the floral displays. The proceeds from Bouquets to Art help to underwrite exhibitions, conservation projects, and education programs at the Fine Art Museums. 

I have always wanted to go to this beautiful exhibition but it has never worked out and I honestly didn’t want to go by myself. So this year I found someone who has the same love and passion for art and flowers so we went. If you haven’t been to the de Young it is near the California Academy of Science and it can sometimes be hard to find parking. We missed the rain on our walk to the museum but weren’t as fortunate on our departure but it was fun just the same.

It was very crowded when we arrived but we started from the top and worked our way around the different galleries. As someone who is intrigued by floral design, I was so impressed with many of the florists' renderings of their art piece. The florists used so many different textures and flora to create these unique pieces.  I had several that I loved and when I came home and downloaded the photos they were just as beautiful as I experienced in person.

If you have the opportunity to go to this exhibition I highly recommend it.  Thank you, Christy, for going with me and for the great conversations we had. Love you!

I’ve included the link to the de Young for this exhibition.

https://deyoung.famsf.org/exhibitions/bouquets-to-art-2018

 

 

Putting Your Art Out There.....

This week has been full of preparations for an art show I am doing this weekend. It has been exciting, creative, at moments challenging and most certainly a process of learning. Photography has become a passion for me....from capturing the moment~composing the shot~editing the photo~printing it~enjoying it. The photography art show will be at a local seasonal and pet store. They have a lovely nursery that they have opened up for me to display my art and invite people to enjoy it. It is such a perfect spot for my floral and landscape photos. I am grateful that they enjoy my art and are willing to let me display it to the public. 

This last weekend was Mother's Day and my kids took the opportunity to take me out to do the thing that I love and that is photograph. That adventure I will have to blog about at another time.  It really was one of the best Mother's Day.  Each of my sons wrote me a lovely sentiment expressing to me something that they had noticed or seen in me over the last year. One of the things they both mentioned was photography. They said that you put your art out for people to see and it really places you in a vulnerable position. You lay it out for all to see and some may not feel the feels you do about what you've created. Both of my sons spoke of my growth and my ability to persevere even in the midst of my vulnerability.  They see that I work very hard to capture the truth in the moments I capture. Their words really meant a lot and it gave me that extra boost of confidence to push through.

So with excitement and a bit of vunerability...I am jumping into the world of art. I thought I was just putting my toes in the water but I realize that I am knee deep and going in deeper. If you are near Sweet Pea's this Saturday evening I invite you to come see my photography art show. This Saturday May 14th, 5pm at Sweet Pea's Boutique ~ 891 Alamo Drive ~ Vacaville, CA.

Walking in the Garden

I have been visiting my folks once a year since they moved to South Carolina almost 10 years ago. It has become more frequent in the last 4 years as their health has declined. I especially love to visit in the Spring as it is so beautiful. The flowers are blooming and everything looks green and lush. Although that is pretty much how it is in the Summer too, the only difference is you can't be outside for more them 10 minutes without melting from the humidity. Just this last week my kids came to visit for the first time in 5 years. It was great to have them visit and truly it is all that my parents have talked about since they left. We had a short visit and during that time they were here we went to The Daniel Stow Botanical Gardens in North Carolina. We lucked out cause it was opening weekend and the place was busy and I think they had a wedding happening as well. We pushed my folks around and they got to enjoy being outside when it wasn't too hot. If you are ever in the area stop by and walk the gardens....you won't be disappointed.